Short Story: Where There's Smoke...

Get a load of this… off to see a mate’s band play, right? I’m standing near the exit sign on the door of a club. And this womble of a doorman comes over to me and goes “excuse me sir, you’re gonna have to move away from there…that’s a fire exit.” So I go, “I know it’s a fire exit”. And he says, “that’s correct sir, now could you please move”. I go, “bud…