Poem: Your Latest Trick

A poem about a very real concern

You write an academic essay
about the Dire Straits album,

‘Brothers in Arms’. The lecturer
gives you a ‘D’. At first, you think

it’s clever code; cute. You’re
thrilled until you hear him saying

“Nothing here but stoner nonsense”.
But all of his complaints about

the things you should have said,
and songs you should have mentioned

are from other albums. So you defend
yourself in front of academic council.

Your argument is “it’s music journalism”.
You get an ‘A’. The VC steps forward

to shake your hand, and from inside
his robes, grabs a saxophone.

He blows that thing real good. Then
asks what you think. You give him

a ‘B’. He starts to cry. Then bottles
of wine-cooler for everyone. He’s

over the moon, takes a line from
a tray. Says you’ve made his day.