Poem: You Can’t Handle The Messiah!

A poem about how every year at Christmas I try to play “Handel’s Messiah” and botch it.

Every year at Christmas, I try
to play Handle’s Messiah.

I have tried introducing it with a speech…

I have tried slipping it on quietly without a word…

I have tried CD. And vinyl. And streaming…

I have tried sneaking off to listen alone.

But every year they find me.

And they find it boring and shitty, and
unlistenable!

And they find me pretentious. And aloof.

These cloven-hoofed fucks!

My family - who I love!

None of us planning to ever change.

It’s going to be heartbreaking when
any of us do.

Another merry Christmas. For which,
we are so lucky.

And fairly grateful too.