Poem: Once Upon A Time in ChCh

A poem about the suburbs of Christchurch at 4.30 on a Friday afternoon…

There’s John with his fucking leaf blower
and then the guy with the orange letterbox,
who mows his lawns at 4.30 on a Friday

when he has the whole bloody weekend,
according to my friend Sally.
Who do these people with tidy sections

and leaf-free driveways really think
they are. No doubt covering up
for the fact they obviously attended

some lesser school in a suburb no one
is dying to get into, and not enough are
dying to leave — these people making

the most of their weekend by starting
it far too early in the nice weather,
just to rain on someone else’s

parade. I tell you, it’s best not to get
on the wrong side of my friend Sally
Which is exactly why I wrote this!