Four Years Without A Drink

Bonus content. For paid subscribers. Four years today without a drink...Happy Sober Day To Me!

If it’s not today, it’s tomorrow. Or maybe it was yesterday actually. I’m not 100% certain of my anniversary - but this week, certainly, marks four years of me being alcohol-free. I now have plenty of people in my life that I see often, socialise with, that have only ever known me as a sober person.

I didn’t always use language like ‘sober person’ because I was not/am not an alcoholic. I am just someone that decided to stop drinking; that enough was enough. It seemed like a better idea to not drink, rather than to carry on the way I was. One of the ways I used to explain it was to say, “I didn’t have a problem, but I stopped before I did”. And maybe that’s still the best summary.

A year or so ago I marked the first thousand days without a drink.

And so most of what’s in that piece there still applies. I'll do my best to not repeat myself (I thought that was meant to be easier when you weren’t drinking?) I started using the language - calling myself a sober person, marking the milestones - in solidarity with those that work the programmes, or have fought a tougher fight in some way for their sobriety. It’s not to scab in and say “me too”, it’s to normalise the conversation in the hope of being able to say, “them as well”. Way back, when I was a regular podcaster I spoke with the legendary Gaylene Preston - one of the country’s most important filmmakers. We were talking about male voices in support of female, and she said “you paddle your waka alongside us” . I liked that phrase. That idea. So I’m carrying it over to this too. You use the language, you inhabit the situation and behaviours, you make it about the decision rather than examination/justification around ‘the problem’. It is about The Decision.

My decision arrived during our Lockdowns. A weird time to do it, but that enforcement - the shops were shut, and I’d already started, made an initial commitment - helped me along, made it somewhat ‘easier’.