Casual Mid-Morning Group Sex

The strangest job interview I ever had…

“Officer, what seems to be the problem?”

“The problem”, the police officer says, um, stiffly , “is I found your daughter sucking cock in the parking lot…”

“Well”, breathless ‘step-mum’, barely five years older than her ‘daughter’, says with an aggressive flirty-ness that does more than border on the offensive, “was she ANY GOOD?”

Cop does not answer.

“Well there’s only one thing that can happen now”, says porn star mum. “Officer you’ll have to let her suck your cock, she has to show me if she’s ANY GOOD”.

Coy-cop undoes his belt, the camera lingers, this thing comes out. This, erm, truncheon. His nightstick…Daughter goes to work. Mum cheers her on. Then cheers on the cop. Tells him to get more aggressive.

It was at that moment that the person in charge of this actual group chat, this live-action experiment, called for the film to be stopped. A tech-support person fumbled about with a few clicks and left a blowjob unfinished on the giant screen. Huge dick in close-up, mouth open. It was there as the absurd backdrop for our conversation.

We were asked for our thoughts. And someone announced rather loudly and straight away that they had found it sexist, unfair even.

“The first thing I noticed was the reinforcement of binary stereotypes”, they said. Because, yeah, you know, suddenly this would all be okay, watching porn in a boardroom at 10 in the morning with strangers, if someone was completely in control of the pronouns, or not defined by them; if some porn-film producers would just think outside the box!

You did not say that you were most disappointed that no one had used a “cop a feel” joke.

But it was definitely the strangest job interview you’ve ever had.